If you want to achieve true happiness in your life don’t run behind it, you will never be able to catch, instead, feel happiness in now moments.
Have you ever encountered with a multimillionaire businessman who is just busy in acquiring more millions in his account without even knowing what his own child or any of his family member needs to discuss with him or what his family members have feelings about him? He does not have time for family members, just because, he thinks, he needs to achieve success in this world and he can do it by just adding a few more millions in his accounts. People have attached success with monetary values.
Achieve materialist goals but don’t run behind it.
Materialistic luxuries by themselves do not provide or last happiness in our lives. We thirst for happiness that never crunched through any luxuries we get in our lives. Every time we reached a milestone, we set another. We make more money thinking that is the way to become happy. In the process we neglect our family, friends and our loved ones. We hope that after achieving this dream, we will be happy. Yes, we get happy when we achieve our dreams. But soon this happiness is forgotten and we start dreaming for bigger goals and think that we will be happy when we reached the next one. And the rope stretches as if it has no end to it. We often do not know exactly what we want, what will make us happy or how to get it.
The bigger meaning of richness is the feeling of inner satisfaction and happiness with whatever in our possession. In society there are many people who never get satisfied and their greed and thrust for materialism never ends. They will never have true happiness and richness because of their greedy nature. They become poor than poorer in possession of happiness and satisfaction, since their desire will never be met.
A person is not rich if there is no contentment and satisfaction in life. The person who is running behind his/her greed can never become rich. He may acquire lots of wealth. But he is poorer than the poor man who lives peacefully in a hut with a heart full of peace and tranquility.
I am not saying that money is not important in our life, but money or materials around us are not everything in life.
Imagine a person who has all the money by which he can buy anything in the world. But his sleepless nights can tell you that he can’t buy sleep with all that money. If he knows that all he need to sleep a peaceful night is just peaceful mindful life, he would have been rich and healthy and would have achieved real success in life.
Most of us know this story of our frantic life and how it is affecting our health, behavior and mental status on daily basis, but they can’t do anything for it, because they don’t know how to achieve that peaceful mind which gives them real success and which is the key for being rich and key for their wellbeing, happiness, healthy, prosperous and enjoyable life.
Stop comparing yourself with others.
Most of us keep comparing ourselves with others in term of wealth, education, skills, and worldly prosperity. Remember, each of us is created with different thumb impression, different eye retina, and we have a different approach to the incidents and events occurring around us. We forget our own personal achievements and we keep comparing ourselves, our children, and our spouses with others. Thus increase pressure on ourselves to catch or surpass them. Focusing on our personal accomplishment instead of comparing ourselves to others leads to greater satisfaction.
Moreover, when we compare our self with others, a sense of jealousy and feeling of non-competency appears in our mind. Which in return create negative feelings. A person starts to have negative self-talk, starts blaming oneself for not competing with other person, and always try to degrade the person with whom comparing to himself. This block mind’s tendency to explore opportunities to grow, rather entire energy and time put to defame the opponent. This person puts himself in big pressure of competitiveness, slowly stress and anxiety block the growth rout.
Don’t try to catch happiness horizon, you will never be able to reach to it.
Most people push their happiness as their future goal to achieve. They think happiness is the result of hard work and success. According to them, “If I will work hard, that will give me success. And if I will be successful, I will be happy”. This is not new for any of us. Because this is what has been taught in our childhood, in our school, and in our daily life by our social peers and other events around us.
We have been delaying our happiness as our future goal by not paying attention to what happiness really means. Just before couple of years ago, I was thinking the same way. I started thinking that I have been running behind this frantic life and fooling myself to achieve success in order to attain a happy life. But where is happiness?
Oh, I wish I would have understood that happiness is in now moment. Every time I was pushing happiness by making a bigger, a difficult goals to achieve. I use to draw the circle of my goals bigger and bigger and thought that if achieve that goal I will be successful, and if I will be successful than I will be happy. But this Circle was increasing day by day, and finally it looked like as if it a horizon which cannot be achieved. I wish I would have known about the fact earlier. But now what? Shall I keep thinking the same way and expect different results or do something, which is distinct and can give me better results?
Imagine many wealthy people who have acquired all the money they wanted to gain and still they are in search of peace and tranquility. What makes them go in search of peace?
It is just because they know the value of peace and happiness. Without it they have been in despair and can’t enjoy their life. They have achieved most of the materialistic things which they thought could give happiness, but still missing something. What went wrong? They focused on achieving success through their desire. Their wealth and all the amenities are not helping them. their sensory feelings have given them a jolt.
Imagine a story to understand the subject
Today is his wedding anniversary. He enters his house in the evening after a long day of hard work, his wife has prepared delicious food. She had worked so hard to prepare this food. His kids are waiting for a hug, candles are lit up on the table to give a feeling of candlelight dinner. The light music is being played to soothe the environment. Beautiful flowers are covering the dinner table around the candle lights. But as soon as he enters the house, he straight away goes on the couch. With a busy mind and without knowing or paying attention to what is happening around, he holds the TV remote and put on the TV. Unconsciously, without even knowing what to watch on the TV, he starts changing the TV channels, which shows his tensed behavior.
He is listening to his children’s talks, but he can’t have time for them.,They want to hug him, but he just keep them away by showing a frown face to them. He can’t feel the touch of his younger boy on his face. He is no more enjoying the music. Eating for the sake of filling up the stomach, but he is not enjoying the taste of what he is eating. The fragrance of a beautiful flower and the aroma of delicious food on the table are useless. His sense of smell has given up. He can’t visualize the beautiful ambiance and his wife’s smiling face. Everything is right in front of him, but he is in deep thinking. Because his mind is busy in processing so many thoughts.
What happened to him? Why is behaving in such a way? He has money, he has a wife, kids, big bungalow, big car, etc.…he got everything that he wanted to achieve. Revising his goals again and again and putting high targets to reach every time he achieved the previous one, kept him busy. So far he had achieved all his set targets, but still, his heart searching for something else. It is searching for peace, happiness and tranquility.
In the beginning he thought, he will be happy if he completes his university education. Than he altered his happiness radius and prolonged it to get happy after he gets a job. Ultimately he got a nice job in an international organization, where he got go out of his country and get to see the world. But still he kept revising his targets. He kept setting up targets to get married, than to have kids, than to buy a beautiful house, than other…..and it continued…..He kept pushing his happiness goals for future, and forgot that there is a moment to live, which is now moment. Happiness became like horizon, more he wants to go closer more it looks beyond his reach.
Now he has realized that he needs to do something to get back to the present moment, to bring his sensory organs in action, to feel them and enjoy life. A wonderful life which is missing somewhere in this frantic world.
But what he can do? Where to start? He needs to think out of the box. And this is the start of his journey to get him moving toward a “ wonderful lifestyle” . For that he needs to change the way he thinks first. If a person’s thinking process is clear, it is the first step toward happiness. Because thinking is the second most critical thing we do in our life after breathing.
More related reading: How to replace your bad habits with good ones?