7 things that destroy self-confidence
Photo credit – Neeraj Awasthi
Self-confidence is not a gift everyone receives by birth. It is built up day by day. It has a big contribution to “Success” that everyone is dreaming about. I know many people who achieve their goals not because they are smarter than others. They are not more knowledgeable or in suitable situations than many other people who are struggling.
Their success is a product of their self-confidence. They achieve their confidence through their positive attitude. Your self-confidence is a harvest of your right attitude concerning your life.
Seldom, in the journey of achieving self-confidence, people become prey to losing their own confidence and then think about where they went wrong. For example, a person can become obsessed with gaining self-confidence so much that finds himself inferior to other people. It is a good idea to check self-confidence from time to time. Learning new practices can improve the results, but too much obsession can cause opposite outputs.
Remember, your self-confidence is a vital element to your success.
If people know what destroys their confidence, they can easily avoid it, learn how to build self-confidence, and accomplish what they want in their life.
Let us see 7 things that destroy self-confidence in people.
Wrong actions to achieve quick success
In order to achieve success or dreams quickly, some people start doing wrong things. Some may take shortcut routes, like taking bribes, stealing, or deceiving people. This may give quick money or fame but in the end, they start feeling guilty of their own actions.
In every human being, there is one inner voice called “conscience”. This is an ethical and moral principle that constrains the actions or thoughts of an individual. If anything goes against this conscience, a person feels guilty. This guilt never allows individuals to feel happy. In the end, the person loses self-confidence. Though this person may have achieved material value, has lost a bigger valuable thing in life known as “self-moral”. Never go against human’s default morals. Always “Think right, Do right, and Act right”.
Shortcuts to achieve quicker and more
Many sales team members do wrong things when they see they can’t reach their targets on time. They think they will lose their job, incentives, and career. Therefore start showing unethical behavior. Some of them start increasing sales figures using wrong ideas, or by cheating their clients. Imagine, what will happen if the client comes to know about it, or management gets a sense of their way of dealing with the clients.
The route to success may not be straight and easier than the path to achieving quick money or materialistic life, but it gives an incredible feeling of self-reliance.
“What people will say when I get fail in my exam, or in my career”, is another feeling that may lead people to deviate and work against their conscience. To hide failure, some start lying about their achievements.
Some students are known as bright students. What will happen if they lose in the exam and get lower than an “A”? This type of thinking makes them cheat during exams. Whoever thinks, if they fail they can’t save their face in society, for the short term cheating may help them pass through exams, but will their conscience let them win? In the back of their mind, it will always hurt them. Their wrong actions to achieve high ranks will never let them sleep peacefully. In long run, these students lose faith in their own abilities and develop “low-esteem” behavior.
Cheating of any kind, whether, it is in the exam, personal life, or professional career, all lead to guilty feelings. This emotional state lowers self-esteem. It directly impacts confidence in one’s own worth or abilities. Remember, failure is not final, and success is not eternal too. The path to success goes through the zig-zag and thorny route of failure in life.
Fear is the biggest enemy of self-confidence
Negative thoughts can generate different forms of fear in the mind. Though the fear term is real, most of the time how it is developed is psychological and due to wrong imaginations. Fear of poverty, redundancy at the workplace, losing health, fear of missing loved ones, or Thanatophobia makes a person drift in different areas of life. If someone faces such negative fears deeply, he may consider going through cognitive behavior therapy or consider counseling or life coaching from experts. This will help them in changing the pattern of thinking and improve dealing with different kinds of phobias.
All kinds of fear reduce self-confidence and instill a low-esteem. These feelings keep rising and become a mountain that does not move.
Self-confidence boosts immunity that helps overcome fear. It gives the ability to take the right action at the right time. This is the biggest step on the path to success.
Fear of mistakes
Some people are afraid of facing their superiors in their workplaces. They think, if they make mistakes, it may create negative feelings in their superior’s mind. But they do not know that management does not hire people who do not make mistakes, but they are looking for people with the ability to handle the situation when they make some errors.
An error-free person in this world is an illusion. So do not try to be a precise person, rather build confidence. Hence, when you make a mistake, you have the courage to face it and have the ability to learn and solve the matter. Be confident and conquer the fear.
Fear of people
You are like other people around you. Do not create an image of their potential that may make you feel inferior to them. Their needs are the same as yours. They want to grow, earn, learn, make money, and live a happy life the way you wish for. Keep them in the right perspective.
Fear will not help you accomplish what you intended for. Respect and fear are two different things. In the name of respect, do not fear people of higher positions or higher power. When you talk to people, you will find, they have similar desires to yours. They also have fear of some things, which you may not be fearing off. We all need to respect other people regardless of whether their position is higher or lower than ours.
Be bold and conquer the hearts of others. When you show confidence in yourself, other people gain confidence in you.
Comparing self with others
Every time you compare yourself with others who have achieved high, you lose confidence in yourself. You start searching for the best part in them and start seeing why you don’t have such qualities that others have in them.
Some parents yell at their kids by telling them to learn from other children around them who exhibit great skills. They are not doing a great job by doing so, in fact, they are instilling a seed of low confidence in their children. Imagine what burden they are putting on them. Such negative criticism gradually but firmly establishes pessimistic thinking in children that other children are superior to them.
Remember, everyone in this world is unique. Each of us has built-in potential that contributes in some or another way to this world. Everyone has its own circle of influence. Let you be you. Do not try to compare yourself to others, and obviously there is no need to copy anyone’s actions by thinking those actions made them bold.
You are well enough capable of doing something that will make a unique contribution to this world. Be unique, be different, be confident.
Failing with the right attitude is better than winning with the wrong one
Many prosperous people have seen more failures than their success stories. But still, they are called successful people. It is not because their successful path of life is bigger than their failed part, but because they learned, and challenged their failures with the right attitude. Each failed attempt of theirs took one step closure to their success. They learn from each failure about which actions can’t take them to success. This helped them gain big confidence. Though their lives have been moving through ups and downs of failures, their right attitude made them confident enough that others see them as successful people.
Losing with the right attitude will give you more self-confidence than achieving temporarily with the wrong approach.
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